Saturday 31 October 2009

I have a head with a brain and hair with a scarf

{Anonymous, 27 October 2009 14:32

Salam sis :) I was a reader of your other blog, I didnt know you wanted to pursue a career in financial accounting! Inshallah I will do the same in a year or so. Can I ask you a question? Since you mentioned you wear the hijab (I think), and your doing your BCom bachelor of comrence thats what we call it in Canada, Im assuming different for England. I wanted to know how it is wearing your hijab and being a student of that program, are there other muslim women there who wear it too in your classes ? LOL Im pretty sure you think im crazy, and your like "what is this chick talking about I feel normal wearing it" But to explain my question is that sometimes I wonder if the teacher thinks a muslim girl is incompetent because of the hijab, and will be harser. Especailly when I think about looking for work in these western societies, If you think about it whats the chance that an indian, white or chineese woman will get a job position over you because you wear a scarf. I hope you know where I'm comming from. Inshallah this dosent face any muslim woman ameen.}

This is a comment a girl left me, I wanted to reply in a post because I think this is a topic that is on a lot of peoples mind.

First of all I want to say that I don't think your crazy and I know where you're coming from with this question. I can encourage you, in my university there are so many girls that wear the "scarf", I really mean a lot of girls, a few hundred at least. There are even some girls that cover their faces. And the best part is that we are treated just the same like everyone else. Even the teachers are extremely nice and treat the girls that wear the scarf like any other girl. They are not just really nice but they talk and joke with me and don't make me feel different. Even the students are really nice and come up to talk to me. I have made friends with girls and guys from different countries and religions and I feel totally relaxed around them.

Especially here in Britain people are very open minded but of course not everybody is, there are always a few exceptions. I didn't have any problems what so ever in England but for example in Germany I don't feel as well as I do here. Even though I am half German and I have family over there. In Germany I am always aware of people staring at me. Sometimes I get back home exhausted. Sometimes I don't want to go out but I force myself too. In some countries it is worse than others. I am not saying it is easy but we have to be strong. We have to show those close minded people that there is nothing wrong with us but they have a totally wrong idea of us and if not then why should one more piece of clothing bother them since less pieces of clothing don't?

As for work chances I have no idea, I saw a few girls that wear the scarf working. I don't know if other girls would be preferred but this doesn't make any sense since the qualifications are what matter. Plus everybody keeps perching about justice and equality, I'm not saying they follow their own rules but it should be that way. Aye?

You know what the weirdest part about most of us girls that wear the scarf is, the scarf it self doesn't bother us but what people think of it or how they look at us does. And the funny thing is that most people who are against the scarf think that we girls are oppressed because of it and don't want to wear it. The scarf isn't the problem, the people are.

Another advice, if financial accounting is what you want to do, just do it. Don't let a few hurtful words and stares scare you. You might feel unhappy, hurt, annoyed and depressed for a day or two maybe even a week but what would make you unhappy for years is not pursue your dreams.

10 comments:

  1. Oh es war sehr interessant zu lesen, was Du geschrieben hast.

    Im Grundgesetzt der Bundesrepubik Deutschland steht ja in Artikel 3 "Niemand darf wegen seines Geschlechtes, seiner Abstammung, seiner Rasse, seiner Sprache, seiner Heimat und Herkunft, seines Glaubens, seiner religiösen oder politischen Anschauungen benachteiligt oder bevorzugt werden." Weißst Du, was das Grundgesetzt ist? Das ist das, worauf die Bundesrepublik Deutschland aufbaut, es ist also die Basis aller Gesetze. Es wurde 1949 entworfen, nach dem 2. Weltkrieg. Es ist eines der freiheitlichsten Grundgesetze der Welt.

    Als Deine Mutter in England AuPair war, da lebte sie in einer Familie, sie war noch keine Muslima, und wir besuchten sie dort, wir heißt, Deine Oma, Dein Opa und ich. Und dort diskutierten wir über die Problematik mit den türkischen Mitbürgern hier.

    Deutschland hat viele Fehler gemacht mit der Integration der ausländischen Mitbürger. Allen voran wurde nie darauf geachtet, dass sich die Menschen hier integrieren. Und viele haben es leider nicht getan, also haben sich nicht integriert. Das sind die Probleme, die wir heute hier haben und die diese Abneigung gegen Kopftücher mit sich brachte. Leider.

    Das ist nicht richtig, aber das ist leider das Ergebnis. Wir sind ein säkularer Staat, das heisst, Religion und Staat sind strickt getrennt. Leider ist dieses Prinzip bei der Einwanderung der türkischen Mitbürger nicht ausreichend beachtet worden. Das Ergebnis haben wir heute, viele Türken können kein Deutsch und viele türkische Mädchen leben in einer Parallelwelt. Was auch der "Grund" für diese entsetzlichen fälschlicherweise so genannten Ehrenmorde ist.

    England hat diese Geschichte nicht, darum ist das Kopftuch dort nicht so ein Thema wie hier.

    Ich weiss noch, ich war vor vielen vielen Jahren, da warst Du noch ein Kind, mit Euch spät Abends im Park war. Da war eine amerikanische Familie und die Tochter war so angezogen, wie sie es in Amiland wohl normal oft war, bauchfrei, aber da war es sehr fehl am Platze. Alles hat geguckt, keiner hat was gesagt, aber es war auffällig fehl am Platze.

    So ist das auch hier, wenn völlig bedeckte Frauen, also nicht nur Kopftuch, sondern völlig dunkel verhüllt, durch die Stadt laufen.

    Das heißt, was können wir miteinander gegeneinander ertragen? Ist es in Bahrain erlaubt, sich darüber aufzuregen, dass eine Amerikanerin so rumläuft und ist es in Deutschland auch erlaubt, sich darüber aufzuregen, dass eine, in diesem Falle war es eine Türkin, völlig verschleiert rumläuft?

    Was müssen wir, was dürfen wir, was sollen wir ertragen? Hat ein Staat das Recht, die Integration zu verlangen? Hat ein Staat das Recht, von den Einwanderern zu verlangen, dass die Kinder die Schule besuchen und alles mitmachen, auch wenn das ihrem Glauben widerspricht?

    Das deutsche Schulrecht verlangt nach gemeinsamen Sportunterricht, das war hier immer so. Gilt das auch für moslemische Mädchen? Und wenn nicht, warum nicht?

    Muss ich mich in Bahrain an die gleichen Regeln halten wie in Deutschland? Muss ich hier in Deutschland Geschlechtertrennung akzeptieren, auch wenn es nicht unsere Kultur ist?

    England hat diese Probleme nicht, es gilt nun zu untersuchen, warum nicht. Und daraus zu lernen.

    Türkische Mädchen werden hier oft unterdrückt. Das ist leider ein Fakt. Wie gehen wir damit um? Wie verhindern wir, dass weiter Mädchen hier unterdrückt werden? Wie verhindern wir, dass alle mit Kopftuch über einen Kamm geschert werden?

    Wenn ich in Bahrain leben will, muss ich mich anpassen. Das muss man auch hier, wenn man hier leben will. Aber wie geht das?

    Du bist eine halbe Deutsche, das kann ich bestätigen, Du bist wirklich zur Hälfte deutsch. Du wirst aber hier mit den Vorurteilen gegenüber Türken konfrontiert, eben weil mit dem Kopftuch das türkische verbunden wird.

    Es ist schwer. Aber es ist gut, dass es so Menschen wie Dich gibt, halbe Deutsche, denn Du kannst helfen, es zu lösen.

    Es ist nicht leicht, aber wo steht, dass es immer leicht ist? Eben, also ist es schwer und es gilt es dennoch zu lösen.

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  2. I agree with you to some extent that everyone has to fit in the other culture when the choose to move there. They know that it is different over there. But how much can you try to fit in without losing yourself?

    And anyway, globalization has made the world to a village where we are all pretty much the same, if we only opened our eyes.

    As for muslim girls being oppressed, and I agree there are many muslim girls that are being oppressed but it is not because of the scarf and it is definitely not because of Islam, it is their culture and their families. Which is very sad. This brings us to another problem, people don't know the difference between culture and Islam. The same goes for other cultures and religions. The german October festival is part of the german culture but it has nothing to do with christianity, but some uneducated arabs would think it does.

    The problem is that people don't know, to be exact they don't know the truth. The worst part is when people don't want to know because it is easier. Arabs, Europeans, Americans, Africans etc.. know very little about each other. Some only think that they do.

    When you rely on media, I think you're lost. You can't expect a German to tell you how it is to be a Brazilian, the culture, the feel, the life. A German can only taste. You can't expect an Arab to tell you how it is to be British, the culture, the life. An Arab can only taste. The same is you can't expect a Muslim to tell you about Christianity, or a Jew about Buddhists, or Hindus about Islam or in any other concept. It is always mixed with opinions and how much a person can understand.

    The problem is people don't know. The problem is prejudice. The problem is the bad things effect more than the good things, no matter how many good things you got. The problem is some people effect more than others, and then everyone is included because they are from the same country or religion.

    I am living in an environment that has so many different cultures, religions, nationalities and it works. It isn't always easy but it works.

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  3. Weißt Du, was ich mich manchmal frage? Ich frage mich, wie meine Schwester eine so kluge Tochter hingekriegt hat. Aber als Tante bin ich mächtig stolz!!

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  4. Thanks :D

    but I think you and my mum and dad opened my eyes to loads of things.

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  5. wow that was a really long comment by 'samate' ,but i dint get a word of what that meant.
    i like this question - why should one more piece of clothing bother them since less pieces of clothing don't? it should make people think.
    Can we always pursue our dreams, sometimes the people around us make it so hard for us that we rather opt to do things to fit in their circles and be called normal.

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  6. @ sun:

    "samate" writes in German thats why ;P

    yep, that is exactly what I mean, a lot of us tend to take it the easy way. Everyone didn't do what they wanted once or even many times because of the people around.

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  7. Salams,

    I am an accountant and I studied financial accounting at uni. I used to wear even the abayah/jilbab to uni and no one said anything or had any problems. Sometimes they would say how beautiful the colours were because i had pink and lilac and blues etc...

    i wouldn't think it will hold you back. But yes in the working world its different. You can wear the hijab but the norm is to wear a suit or smart casual clothes to work. I wear trousers and long smart tops and its fine al7amdulillah.

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  8. well Mariam i knew that was in German, i could make out it was not pure english :)

    Mahsa- I like to dress up that way too, looking smart and decent too

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  9. This is the second time I have had my comments discussed by two of my favourite bloggers.

    Thankyou for your response, just two weeks ago I was talking to an egyptian girl who finished her bCOM and found a job as an accountant. That helped me feel a bit better. Yeah my only worry was searching for a career when I finish university inshallah. I know during university I wont see so much as a hard-time inshallah. Do you plan on going back to Bahrain to find a job? Or continue living in Britain?

    Sorry for the late late late response.

    IDK if my comment had my name included, but I commented on anonymous because I am too lazy to sign into my account :)

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  10. Hey stranger,

    Well, I hope you get a job easily after uni. As for me, I am going back to Bahrain after uni but I dont intend to stay there forever. But nobody knows what will happen aye!

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